BlackMan Time

Archive for May, 2009

Of all the women on planet earth available to be desired, loved and cherished, the black woman is easily the most sensitive! This is particularly pertinent when the subjects of sex, race, slavery and skin colour preference are under discussion.

One has to walk gingerly, as if on eggshells or in the china shop, around these topics and cannot charge in like the proverbial bull!

Nearly 20 years ago DJ Buju Banton discovered this to his peril when he released “Love Mi Browning” – a song that spoke of his love for light-skin women. Big mistake – who told him to do that?

The song enjoyed great success for the then 20 year old Buju. But, most significantly, it angered Black women who felt aggrieved that he was promoting a colonial mentality by inferring black women was less desirable.

Browning

It didn’t matter to black women that the lyrics – “love mi car, love mi bike, love mi money an’ ting, but most of all mi love mi browning…” – were light and whimsical; the damage had already been done. Many thousands of black women were up in arms and woe betides any man who does that!

To win back their affection Buju had to record a follow up record, aptly titled “Love Black Woman“. The tune was similarly successful and black women gloried in its sentiment as they were celebrated to the highest heights. It’s not known what women of other colour thought though…

This story hightlights what happened yesterday when I wrote of dating white women. One black woman took exception to the words: “At some stages in my past I would date only black women because it was singularly hassle-free compared with the alternative of dating white girls…”

Personality

This woman removed herself from my Facebook, aggrieved that I did not say I loved black woman because of the shared cultural and spiritual experience. But, since I had already said I loved women based on their personality, I didn’t really feel the need to highlight particular personality traits as well.

It should have been obvious that as a man of African-Caribbean decent my preference would naturally be for a woman who shares the same racial and cultural characteristics as my mother and the mother of my only child. But no, by omitting to say this, just like in Buju’s “Love Mi Browning” example above, it inferred a preference for white women, apparently.

In fact the truth, as I explained yesterday, remains that even though I prefer a black woman, I still maintain that colour is not my main criteria when deciding who I should love.

Now, who’s ready to fling that second stone?

Some people would prefer if I declare my love only for black women, but the fact is my love stretches far beyond the boundary of colour. Race, religion, tribe, culture, class, language and nationality are still no barrier. What I’m really attracted to when I think about loving someone is their personality.

At some stages in my past I would date only black women because it was singularly hassle-free compared with the alternative of dating white girls. But even when I dated black girls it was a problem!

If I dated a non Jamaican, my Jamaican crew would screw. “Why you checking a Dominican gal?” they would ask. “Because she’s a great woman,” I’d respond. Then they’d kiss their teeth indignantly and ask God to forgive me.

Betrayal

If I ever made the “mistake” of dating an African or a Muslim, the same kind of hell would break loose! I’d have both Africans and Muslims up in arms! A similar dynamic happened when it came to dating white girls. Nuff black girls would cuss and diss you among their friends, while trying to seduce you at the first opportunity, behind your white girlfriend’s back.

The strongest opposition usually came from people who somehow felt I was betraying the race for dating white girls. I understood the frustration they obviously felt: how could I fraternize with a race that in the past enslaved and subjugated us to all manner of injustices, etc. The simplest answer is I don’t fraternize with a race if I date a white girl; I just date that particular individual.

I know within each race hatred forms an essential part of the make-up because someone somewhere will always want to project their own prejudices onto you. If you reject their chosen path for you then, as far as they’re concerned, you’re a traitor! It doesn’t strike them as particularly hypocritical the fact that they themselves have white friends; they’re more concerned about you dating them.

Tumble Weed

If you ever venture into certain redneck parts of town where “hardcore” whites hangout then as soon as you walk into the bar with your white girlfriend on your arm, everything goes quiet. Suddenly you feel the glare of nuff pair of eyes digging into you.

Maybe a sudden gush of wind blows a tumble weed across the room! If you managed to get out alive and they warm to you, you may occasionally get an: “I don’t really like black people you know but he’s alright.” And that’s a compliment…

The hatred works both ways but if the relationship is true then it bonds an interracial couple closer, united by their common love for each other. It is natural to love your race above all others first, but if you choose to date outside your race that is your prerogative. Each person have this right to love who they choose but far too often they let the prejudices of society pen them into a little corner.

There, I’ve said it! Now, who’s ready to fling the first stone?

I saw somewhere where someone, a woman, made a joke about a current event. She said: “Wouldn’t it be funny if a Rastaman caught Swine Flu!”

My initial thoughts were that a true Rastaman (Muslim or orthodox Jew for that matter!) does not deal with pig food. But there lies the crack in the fissure: you don’t need to consume anything to catch Swine Flu.

The visual and aural juxtaposition of the words and term “Swine Flu” is powerful enough to plant the association in your head. From there your brain takes over, but by the time your senses catch up, the sensation has become an epidemic in your mind. Moments later your face breaks out a smile, followed by the inevitable laugh.

The power of words can never be underestimated!

Why I like London because I can be anonymous there! When I moved from a small country town this was an advantage as it gave me chance to get to know the place singly before having to complicate things with friends and/or family, none of which I had in London.

London represented a step towards progress: it was big city, bright lights and its legendary dog eat dog infamy was a challenge I had to pit my wits against. I felt I could survive anywhere and if London was a hostile place, or certainly not as friendly as a rural town, then it was a good testing ground.

Clearly I have prospered! But it has taken a while.

Landmark

London is an international landmark for business, tourism, economy, politics and culture. Many celebrities live just round the corner from where I live and my current skyline view of the city from the vantage point of a high-rise tower block is breathtaking.

It’s a truly multi-cultural place and it’s not unusual to meet people from at least 10 different nationalties in the course of a day.

But, my view of London has changed over the years. I have now come to hate the noise and pollution and long to live in a quieter, cleaner space with good commute distance to London.

Overall, though, London makes you feel part of a community, where you can share the spirit and fun of being able to call yourself “a Londoner”, if you so choose…

Why do you like (or dislike) where you live?

If something good happens to you once you can call it luck. At best you can call it chance; at worse probability. Some people might call it fate! If good things happen to you all the time you cannot call it luck. It has to be given another name. Blessing is a good way to call it…

If luck is something that happens by chance at random, subject to the whims of circumstances and environment, a blessing happens only because God has sanctified it.

You could theoretically improve your “luck” by adjusting the probability of things happening, but only God alone can increase (or decrease) your blessings.

If your blessings keep on multiplying or happening at more frequent intervals then you could assume you are indeed well blessed and that God is pleased with you in some way.

Crazy Non-Believer

Of course if you are a non-believer in God all this might sound crazy but the power of prayer can never be underestimated. Neither can the power of karma be ignored because what goes around, does comes around. Indeed if you plant good seed you will reap good crop.

Essentially, if you only ever think about yourself and you’ve never done anything for anybody without expecting a reward, how can you expect to be blessed for your works?

At the same time you can’t do good works expecting a blessing and be blessed. Your good deed has to be done from the heart and be given genuinely.

I give thanks yesterday, today and tomorrow for all my blessings.

By now you will have heard that Swine Flu is threatening to become a pandemic. In fact some people have already called it but the World Health Organisation (WHO – you may well ask!) are still cautiously upgrading its status.

Starting from a strain in Mexico Swine Flu has been spreading into other areas Mexicans are returning to after visiting their country of origin.

It’s now reached the UK where the first case of someone who has not visited Mexico has been diagnosed with it. This video, around the slogan “Catch It, Bin it, Kill it” has now been produced to increase awareness of it.

Essentially that “Catch It, Bin it, Kill it” message reminds people to follow good hygiene practices to protect themselves and others against the spread of swine flu. But, the instruction is such common sense that it should already be a natural part of staying healthy.

But I keep forgetting that common sense isn’t always very common…