BlackMan Time

Archive for April, 2008

Towards the end of last year, just as the world geared up to celebrate Christmas, a niece deftly asked me if I could consider buying her an iPhone. At

Oma, my alleged friend of Asian descent, called me yesterday ostensibly to ask me for help on restoring her computer DVD drive.

I couldn’t give her the solution she needed immediately as I was otherwise busy and she seemed in a hurry for the answer. On telling her this she said it was okay. Then she asked how I was and I said I was fine.

Just before she hung up she revealed, as a kind of by the way, that she had gotten married over the weekend. It was a surprise but I kept my cool. I knew it was in the pipeline and scheduled for October or something. I was misled…

Somehow, I also held back my well wishes because she had made a big deal and fuss over how she would be inviting me and a guest of my choice to the wedding. Yet I didn’t even get a phone call to say she had changed her mind and got married!

Violated

At that point I felt like she had seriously violated the promise. I became monosyllabic. I guessed she could sense this. She hung up immediately after, promising to ring me again later.

Very predictably that promise proved to be another lie: she didn

I now have quite a few of my family and friends reading this blog on a regular basis and they guide me on some of the topics and issues I should cover.

This is obviously a good situation to be in but it also brings a few ‘challenges’ that have to be considered with each character I type.

For instance, since I know they will be reading I am cognizant of this fact and although I don’t write stuff to please them necessarily, I am candid about what I say so as not to hurt or injure anyone. Trust me; words can be as injurious as any sword, sharpened knife, razor blade, pin, ice-pick, cutlass or dagger!

While I am glad they are all reading, some with the joy and excitement of an episodic soap opera fan, it is good that they digest what they see with a pinch of (sea) salt!

You Talking To Me?

I say this because one or two of them, especially women who are sizing me up for one reason or other, are coming back to me and saying: “You were talking about in that last blog, weren’t you?” And, even if I have not they still won’t believe!

There is one in particular who doesn’t even talk to me direct anymore: she just reads BMT to find out what I’m doing. This is also bad because I don’t always write about stuff in real time but I have to give that impression for the blog to retain its freshness and verve.

Let me state the real point of all this: whereas I am happy to write my life and happenings in and out of it, I always hold something back to protect myself, my subjects and other interests.

If you really want to know me then it’s best to talk to me in person, face to face if possible. I’m available for meetings over lunch, dinner and breakfasts!

I really hope no one reads that automatically assume I am sleeping around!

Or two!

The account of my current contract is handled by an Englishman with a roughneck East End accent, with a jovial but no-nonsense persona. Let’s call him Yar!

Now, Yar fought tooth and nail to secure me a very lucrative position that came with a quite decent pay cheque each month. It wasn’t much of a fight really because Yar was on good terms with the company. But he had not met any of the people he had been dealing with so I saw an opportunity for him to do so.

It would also be a chance to meet Yar myself since he was good to me. He did well on the deal himself, considering the massive commission he earned! So, I suggested to Yar that he arrange to take the senior management and any of the other contractors he had working for the company, including myself, of course, to lunch.

At first Yar protested that he didn’t have that kind of money, etc. but I persuaded him it was a good opportunity to further curry favour with the management, thereby securing more contracts for himself and bigger commission. Eventually, he went for it and we dined out one sunny day around three weeks ago.

Yar was very professional when we met but since that lunch he has not been in touch once with me. Before the lunch he was phoning me at least once a week to find out how I was getting on and emailed me just as often to do the same.

What happened to Yar, I asked? Was he angry about the lunch? Was he surprised to see that I wasn’t actually white but in fact a Black person of African descent?

To be honest I really don’t know the true reason for his change of attitude and I am going to keep an open mind on it. At this stage nothing surprises me anymore so the possibilities are endless…

What do you think though?

Last week while I was one of 15 people at a colleague’s leaving lunch at a swanky Thai restaurant in Berkshire, the colleague next to me stated that racism in Britain was no longer an issue for most people.

In his opinion because there were so many more Black people visible in the media doing positive things and getting exposure that must surely mean that racism is dead.

His comment nearly had me choking on my chic peas masala. I steadied my thoughts before wading into his comment…

The fact that I was the only Black person in the team and the company I worked as a contractor for actually don’t employ a lot of Black people – out of their workforce of thousands, there were only around 10 to 15 blacks – probably didn’t say much for them either.

What eventually came out of my curried mouth was the fact that since racism is not just about discriminating against people’s colour, that it was primarily who had control and the means to enforce it, then Black people in this country were still suffering under institutional racism.

The colleague picked up the challenge and started to reinforce what he had already said. But, by that time I had already decided to ignore anything else that would come from his mouth because as a white person enjoying the benefits of racism, I don’t think he would truly understand what racism is, unless he was actually experiencing it for himself.

The meal was actually quite good though!

My above floor neighbour stopped me in the corridor last night. Actually I didn’t see him: I only heard his loud voice calling out to me as I walked towards him.

I didn’t recognise who it was at first until he said: “Heard you still playing your music earlier…” Quickly, I anticipated trouble because I had been playing it full blast, as is my way at least twice or thrice a week.

With speakers capable of generating 500 watts of noise my system could shake up hell, let alone up a mere houseparty!

I wasn’t exactly fretting, just a little apprehensive. Until his next words. “Wicked, mi brethren! Is where you get so much tunes from? Eeeh!” Then we laughed, touched fist and celebrated our mutual love of good reggae music.

My below floor neighbour on the other hand tend to show me she is pleased with my loud music by playing hers loud enough at around 8 a.m. the very next morning.

Queue Haunt!

So right on queue, this morning she was playing Dennis Brown’s “Silhouette” really loud. Her system is certainly louder than mine by a factor of two so she’s generating around 1000 watts.

Ordinarily I would be vexed, as it woke me out of my sleep. But when I realised it was downstairs neighbour generating the noise I chilled, relaxed and enjoyed the sounds. I love Dennis Brown!

I can’t get angry with the downstairs neighbours because last time I ran into her – and what a fine Barbadian woman she is too! – she asked me to do a Dennis Brown compilation CD for her. It’s really funny that: to have my own music come back to haunt me!

But then again, just like they say on the telly, “Everybody needs good neighbours!”

Ain’t that right?

I wish some of the nifty, technological tools and applications available for making computer users’ lives stress free, were available as part of this daily life!

For instance, Windowws XP Professional’s System Restore feature allows you to revert your computer back to a date when it was working fine and trouble free! The great thing is it does so without deleting any files you have saved or accumulated in the interim period.

You don’t need me to tell you the benefits of time travel, particularly to the past! The biggest one would be to correct some (or all) of our mistakes and faux pas.

Then there is the handy search facility. Can’t find your keys just when you’re rushing out the door and you will miss that connection if you don’t leave now? No problem, just hit search and the life screen will tell you where those pesky keys are!

Thus, from this you can see how far we could go to emulate and transplant the more useful aspect of technology into our daily life.

Since I have actually thought of this and committed my thoughts to paper, erm, I mean screen, I’m wondering how many other people have had similar thoughts. Most importantly, I’m wondering how many of these might actually have the skill, drive and interest to run with the idea and make it happen?

Where the hell is that life search button?

On the morning of April 1, 2008 I watched and listened as a group of my co-workers whooped it up at the news that Robert Mugabe had ‘lost’ the election in Zimbabwe. The only thing is the results, to this very day, has not even been released yet!

They were celebrating Mugabe’s demise in spectacular fashion, even planning on going out for a drink to honour the occasion. I even heard one person, a woman, say something to the effect: “Oh good! Now we’ll be able to get cheap holidays to Zimbabwe!”

I was in the minority on two fronts. First I didn’t share their views. Second I was the only person of Black/African descent in that section of the company. But hearing their exchange made me realise what I have always known: colonial minded, imperialistic people only see places like Africa and the Caribbean as their exploitative playgrounds.

They couldn’t care less about anything else other than they were able to take advantage of the political and economic instability in that country. It didn’t bother them that when they got there most people would be so poor they might even turn to crime and rob them to make ends meet.

This thought, although ill-advised, is nevertheless a realistic possibility. But wouldn’t it be a sweet piece of poetic justice though?

Are you a pimp who doesn’t really know it? Do you thrive only on the backs of others and do you pride yourself on how great you are at exploiting the good will and nature of others? That, essentially, is what a pimp is!

I could expand by comparing your average pimp to a vampire or a mosquito sucking out the lifeblood of others, but that might be disrespectful to mosquitoes! Come catch my drift…

I feel incensed every time so-called creative people, usually devoid of fresh ideas and/or innovation, just fall back using what they think is a winning idea but what is essentially a clich

Who do you turn to in a crisis? Who do you share your secrets with and is comfortable to rely on when the chips are down? Who, exactly, is your friend and who can you trust?

Some people think I am completely off the wall but as time progress I seem to care increasingly less about what others think of me. I have never been one to conform to anyone’s opinion on what I should be and how I should be what I should be. I have always (tried!) to operate on a basis that I am who I am and if you don’t like it then you don’t need to associate yourself with me.

Recently I have found myself surrounded by people who want to call themselves my friend. However, on closer inspection I’ve discovered that these ‘friends’ are nothing more than vampires at worst or deceitful at best. In reality they are friendenemies and they seem to live by the adage “keep your friends close but your enemies closer still…”

I actually prefer to stay far from my enemies at the best of times until I am ready to engage them in battle! This is especially true of those who go around masquerading as my friend when I know from their movements that they are working against me.

Do you, too, ever find life a bit of a battle to sift through your friends from your enemies?