BlackMan Time

Archive for October, 2007

No one has ever dared to bully me when I was at school. In fact I was the bully’s worse nightmare because I used to protect the weaker boys from the bully. The bully then had to go through me to get to those little boys they wanted to intimidate. Usually, they never succeeded and any bully who didn’t like my response could try whatever he wanted.

I never lost one single battle. But, I didn’t actually like the boys I protected: I just didn’t like bullies. This was probably an anomaly…

All these thoughts came back to me when I read about singer/song writer Craig David and how he was bullied at school for being fat. Then I fast forward to today where he was bullied by a comedian who took his image and made a mockery of it. To me that was another form of bullying.

Maybe if I was Craig David I would lay in wait for this comedian and rough him up a little, if the polite, diplomatic approach failed!

Bullying is bullying and to me it doesn’t matter who is being bullied, I hate the practice…

If I was in Martin Jol’s shoes, pride alone would prevent me from harbouring any thought of returning to a soccer club like Tottenham which treated me so shabbily.

The only way I would even consider such an option is if I was returning as owner or major shareholder in the club with the power to boot/shoot out those who first shot me out.

I am not necessarily the most revengeful of persons but I do take great pride in myself. Maybe that’s my downfall but I can’t imagine someone humiliating me so publicly and I turn around in the next instance running back to them like that.

That’s just me and only Martin Jol knows why he’d even be putting out “vibes” that he has long term goals or returning to Tottenham Hotspurs.

Best of luck to him. And I’m not sure if that’s sarcasm there!

Some people say you don’t find love: it finds you. I don’t know if I believe that entirely. There is probably some element of truth in it but love has a nasty way of showing itself. Sometimes love displays itself as hate and you have to decipher the code otherwise you miss your chance!

A few years ago I met a woman with whom I always had major disagreements. Anytime we clashed, whether it was on the phone or in front of each other, we just couldn’t be civil to each other. It wasn’t nasty in any malicious way: it’s just she irritated me a lot and I seem to have the same effect on her.

After a while I left town and moved abroad but I found myself thinking about this person even more. Then the remarkable discovery hit me: I was actually in love with this woman!

I came to that conclusion after reasoning with myself that what I felt must be love because it wasn’t hate and the love I had for her showed itself as hate when I was around her. I resolved to find her and let her know but it’s been so long that maybe somebody else has already got her.

If I ever bumped into her again I will tell her. So that she can hate me right back!

Have you ever noticed that the people you love to be with never seem to want to be with you? It’s usually the ones you don’t really have deep feelings for who seem to love you world without end!

When, I ask myself, is one of those women you actually like, going to give you the signal so that you can turn left instead of crashing straight into the brick wall?!

Deja vu flashed over me yesterday as I read the story on Darius Knight, the 17-year-old Londoner who is being highlighted to win a medal in the 2012 Olympic Games being held in London.

“Table tennis is like my baby,” Knight told the media. “It was my saviour and I will promote it any way I can. It gave me a new direction from a young age…”

A few years back I was singing the same song! Table tennis was not only my saviour it opened up new worlds to me and introduced me to influential people and opportunities that could have otherwise remained closed for other youths from an African background.

Like Darious, I made lots of sacrifices and I remember training four sometimes five times a week and playing in many tournaments across the country. Eventually I rose to number 16th best junior player in the country. For me that was outstanding but it wasn’t good enough to garner me the kind of attention which Darious is getting.

I hope he goes all the way and win a medal in 2012. I’m batting in his corner!

Over the past few weeks I have had the chance (pleasure!) of laying my hands on some really high spec digital equipment! In fact I know own a set of these gadgets which in total has equipped me with the ability to run my own media studio. Indeed, technology has come a long, long way.

Being a traditionalist photographer who hitherto captured all his images on 35mm celluloid film, I was astounded by the sheer versatility of digital film and cheaper comparative cost of going all-digital. No more messy or smelly chemicals, slaving over a hot enlarger in a darkened room, etc. In today’s photographic world your images appear seconds after you press the shutter. And, if you don’t like the image you can simply delete it and start again.

This contrasts well with the old system where it involved several stages all (usually) outside of your jurisdiction. From the film processing to the print development, old style photography was both messy, expensive and sometimes fraught with danger over whether your image would actually be properly exposed. None of these are concerns with digital photography.

This is why I am certain I will expand my digital photographic equipment and practice. Just watch me develop the idea!

It shouldn’t take long…

I am currently out of a contract and my curriculum vitae (CV!) is being circulated around the usual phalange of job agencies. It is amazing how they differ from one another yet have a central core focussed on their commission, of course.

At times the whole business resembles a scammer’s dream. They basically get 20% of whatever your annual salary (or pro rata) would be. So if a job you are interested in is paying around £60,000 (or around $120,000) per year, the job agent immediately gets £12,000 (or $24,000) in commission!

This money does not come out of your salary: the hiring company pays it. Although I don’t begrudge anyone for making a living, you have to admit this is a pretty lucrative way to do so. In some cases it basically amounts to pimping off the talent of others.

People usually ask me why I don’t just go to companies direct for jobs. The reality is that going through agencies tend to net you more money because you come in as contractor and since the agencies have lots of companies looking for contractors you have a ready market and potential positions to be considered for. This probably explains why some agents come with an uppity attitude when they call you, as if they are doing you a favour!

However, I quickly end the conversation with any agent who comes with this approach because we both know that it is my talent, skills, ability and not my immodesty which is the real source of power!

Besides, nothing beats the real value of respect, regardless how much money is being thrown at you in compensation for doing a job!

“What are you doing in Britain when the paradise of the Caribbean awaits you?” was a question a friend asked me the other day. I paused before even volunteering an answer. And then I thought again before I eventually said: “I haven’t quite decided yet…”

The real answer I guess lies somewhere between wanting to put down some more roots here first, decide on a really beautiful woman to finally settle with and expand my business. But, the reality is that each day I live and breathe in the UK I get increasingly disillusioned by something or other.

I try my best to stay positive but if I entertain negativity then I would probably just up and leave without a second thought.

What breaks up the monotony is the reaction I share with several key people around me. Call them family, friends and associates. They tend to motivate me more towards my goal. And it’s good to have people around who actually care whether you breathe or die.

That’s the real reason why I stay in the UK!

There is a really good reason why your former lover or partner is called an ex! The most obvious reason, of course, is that they are now in the past and are literally history. And, from what I have seen recently, in the past is where we should leave these kinds of relationships.

The logic is really simple: if the relationship with your ex had worked out they wouldn’t be an ex, right? That makes sense to me, but why is it when we see an ex we tend to only remember the good bits of the relationship? I say “we” but I mean the male of the species who seem to suffer from this ‘ailment’ the most. The women, on the other hand, they tend to remember only the worst bits of the relationship!

They have a habit of keeping a mental record of every wrong you have ever committed including dates and times. It’s really incredible how they do it.

I recently ran into an ex and I briefly entertained thoughts of how rekindling something; until we started chatting. She spent the entire conversation telling me how much she would just love to forget the past but then proceeded to talk about nothing but the past!

Needless to say I didn’t come off good in her version of history and I just chose to remain silent and not respond because I was already sorry for having tried to excavate the past.

My advice is if you ever get the urge to dig up the past, then you are probably going to dig your own grave!

Ignore me, of course, at your peril. It is your funeral…

For as long as I have known myself I have never been a follower of fashion! Yet, to look at some youths today you would think that if fashion didn’t exist they would have to invent it.

I really think anyone who is led or can be led by what the mainstream is doing is like sheep. And, it is simply amazing just how many sheep, going by the number of stuff catering to Sheep’s interests.

These include an exponential increase in the number of people having cosmetic surgery, talent game shows of the American/Pop Idol variety, etc. It seems like the advertising industry finally has the young (and restless!) exactly where they want them: hooked on technology and feeling naked unless they got the latest gadgets.

Me? I’m happy being naked with no gadget. If necessary I sometimes even do things the traditional way because if you allow others to dictate what you do or how you are, you nothing but a slave. And we’ve already made that journey over 400 years ago.

No point in reinventing the wheel.